IMPACT- Day One.

My sister had a heart for mission work. Her giving spirit and willingness to work, along with her purity and compassion made her impossible to dislike. Children felt they could trust her, teens could relate to her, and adults understood her. She had a gentleness and humbleness that is recognized universally and in turn, made her influential in any setting. I remember her coming home from Impact Houston in the summer of 2012 and seeing a maturity in my sister I had never recognized before. She came back energized and confident, as though she had found a place that she could really thrive. I remember her speaking so highly of the program, the trip, and all the many wonderful people she had met while in Houston.  I remember being disappointed I had not gone as well, but there was no real urgency for me to make the trip myself. I decided that could be Bailey’s thing, even when she encouraged me to join her the next year. She insisted it was an indescribable experience and I would just have to go and see for myself. I remember how sincere she was. How she truly longed that I could understand the journey she had been on. And all these things came to mind even more clearly when she was gone. In December, I made it my mission to make it to Houston. To fulfill this “dream” she had for me. It became an obsession. I researched people she had come in contact with and children she had become especially close to. I wanted to interact with kids she had touched and meet people that had known her in one of her most life changing experiences. I had to put these pieces of who she was together. Because I knew Bailey at home. I knew Bailey as my little sister. But I wanted to know Bailey as just, Bailey. The Bailey that others had met. The strong, confident, independent Bailey that I rarely got to see. I wanted to go somewhere that no one knew me. They had no preconceived notions of who I was. They could give me a completely unflawed vision of who my sweet sister was to them.  So I informed Scott that I was chaperoning, and on the day of July 7^th, I packed my bags and entered a bus headed for Houston, Texas. I can’t describe the overwhelming feeling that greeted me in boarding that bus. For the first time ever in any sort of mission work, I was honestly terrified. I knew the week was going to be completely emotionally consuming and I didn’t know if I was up for the challenge. Was I asking for it by coming on this trip?? Was I just setting myself up to be depressed?? But I was determined to do this. For me, for her, for her friends, for Scott, and for my Lord. So I sat down in a bus seat, wrapped her blanket around me, grabbed my necklace, and I prayed. I prayed hard. I prayed that God would give me the strength to make it through the week, the knowledge to see the things I was meant to see, and the patience to understand how to act on them. And as we began our thirteen hour journey to Houston I felt myself cry. Embarrassed, I buried my head in the blanket and curled in a ball until I felt someone over me. I looked up and Scott smiled down. As usual, sweet Scott came with comfort and understanding. So he sat down beside me with my blanket wrapped legs in his lap, and we prepared ourselves for the emotional ride ahead.

We drove through the night on Saturday and arrived at a Cracker Barrel in Texas on Sunday morning. We got out to eat breakfast and change from our bus riding clothes, to church attire. We then rode into Houston and onto the road where the little Impact church sat. I wouldn’t have known if the kids from last year hadn’t jumped up in excitement. There are three buildings that make up the Impact church. The main building, where they host church and VBS II, the middle school building, and the education building where they have their Sunday school classes and VBS I. Because of the amazing work the Impact church does, they have too many kids to hold in one building. They have been forced to separate the large quantity of children into 2 VBS groups, and Beltline was placed with VBS I. Sunday morning we began with their Sunday school classes. Daniel Lane, a senior from our Beltline group, and I were put in a room with the 4^th graders to observe and help when needed. Now Impact Houston has what they call “interns” that the church brings in each year. People apply for these positions and the staff hand picks them for the summer. The interns are in charge of discipline while the youth groups are there and crowd control, but on a larger scale they teach Sunday school classes and help lead the groups throughout the week. They do an amazing job and it was an honor to get to work with them throughout the week. We met our first group of kids and a sassy group of girls that I hit it off with right away. I sat with them during class and they filled me in on their lives of boys, nail polish, hot Cheetohs, and their cousins that didn’t get along. Now three of the girls were three peas in a pod. They truly believed they were too cool for school and they were proud of it. They were skinny and had their hair braided similarly, and were dressed in cute little outfits. There was a fourth girl in the group that seemed to be the odd man out and she clung to me right away. She was a larger girl and she clearly didn’t have the same amount of attention at home as the other three. You could tell her hair hadn’t been done recently and two of the girls commented on her dress being the same one she had worn the Sunday before. But she had the sweetest heart and I enjoyed listening to her talk about God. At one point we were talking about things that annoyed us, and what we could do to change that, whether that meant being more patient or more understanding or removing ourselves from a situation. Most of the girls misunderstood the assignment and instead, wrote down the ways the people that annoyed them could change themselves so they weren’t as annoying. I will admit, Daniel and I had a hard time not laughing at some of their responses, but Shay’s answer was the one that truly pricked my heart. When asked what annoyed her she wrote, “When the other girls make fun of my weight.” And when asked what she could do to change that she wrote, “Realize that God loves me the way that I am and not let it hurt my feelings.”  How powerful. For a fourth grader to understand that her Father doesn’t look at the outward appearances as the world does, but He understands her heart. And that the people of this world will always tease you, but it is up to you whether or not you let it bother you. I don’t do that at 19, much less at 10. I allow anything and everything to hold me back. I allow my weight, my hair, my eyes, my cheeks, my toes, and everything else to dictate my mood. I will let one comment about my size, change my complete outlook on the day. I will stop myself from doing something, if I feel like someone will judge the way I look doing it. And Shontay was able to realize in the fourth grade that none of that matters?? Despite my fears for the week, and my anxiety towards meeting the children the next day, at that moment I felt hope. I felt fulfilled. And I smiled at her knowing that if I met one child like that in my day one, then I was bound to meet at least one more, and I was looking forward to the next moment I got to see my Savior smile back at me from inside a child.